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Divorcing parents and children still may see one another every day

“The children didn’t ask for this divorce” shared the premier plasterer who scheduled his day around meeting the children at their buses after school, doing homework with them at their Mother’s home, until she returned from her corporate job.

A CFO of his company delivered the two children to school and picked them up five days a week. They did homework at the children’s private school, after school, had snacks, and were delivered to Mom’s house on the alternate weeks when they didn’t live at his home.

One Mom left her home three nights a week, to attend classes, or visit with friends, while the children’s Dad came to her home, gave the children dinner and baths, and read them stories. The children spent Saturdays initially with Dad, and Sundays with their Mother.

Another family had Friday evenings, including dinner, stories, and tuck-ins every week.

Many parents are deeply frightened that divorcing and restructuring their families means there will be many days between those during which they will see their children. It doesn’t have to be that way. Parents can design creative schedules, especially initially, so that they and their children have almost daily contact with one another. They are used to daily access, except when a parent travels, and many parents want to keep it that way.

Couples coming to The Negotiation Collaborative, Janet Miller Wiseman Mediation and Counseling Services receive the benefit of continuously brainstorming creative options for living arrangements schedules until they reach one that is flexible over time, and comfortable for parents and children, alike.

Where there is a will to frequent access between children and parents, there is a way!

Janet Miller Wiseman, LICSW, Certified Divorce and Family Mediator, The Negotiation Collaborative, Janet Miller Wiseman, Mediation and Counseling Services

Divorce Is Going to the Dogs, Literally

Custody battles over the kids? So old school. Melanie and Antonio are just one of thousands of couples going to war over their pets. When Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas announced the end of their nearly two-decade marriage, they vowed to finalize things “in a loving and friendly manner.” But according to reports it is possible… Continue Reading

New additions to domestic relations laws – Chapter 208 Divorce

Here are the new additions to the domestic relations laws, Chapter 208 on Divorce. Effective as of today March 1st, 2012. Chapter 208. Section 31A Visitation and custody orders; consideration of abuse toward parent or child; best interest of child. Chapter 208. Section 48 Definitions applicable to Secs. 49 to 55. Chapter 208. Section 49… Continue Reading

The real losers in alimony reform: Stay at home spouses in long term marriages. Is there any wiggle room?

Those paying alimony have been pretty vocal in their praise of the new alimony law the details of which are found here. One of the principal “reforms” is to terminate alimony at the payor spouse’s federal retirement age, regardless of whether the payor spouse is in fact retired.  For current payors of alimony in their… Continue Reading

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